Friday, September 13, 2013

Parenting Woes..






It has been a rough week over in grizawood parent land. I find myself doing lots of online research and then  I remembered the good ole blog and thought I would chat about things on here and see what kind of feedback I could get.
Sister and I have both been sick with either a head cold or allergies? Not sure but either way it stinks. I took her to the doc just to make sure that she didn't have an ear infection ( she did not) but for the most part I am gonna try my best to more natural medicines with her when possible ( more on that later). 
Anyway,... Back to my first born as he is the challenging child  this week. I am really at a loss about what to do with him these days. It has become clear that this adjustment to having a sister and to starting a new school really is much harder on him than I ever expected. 

  • He has started carrying around " BluBear" with him everywhere he goes.. I mean like everywhere... almost attached to his body. Before, bluebear was something he slept with at night and then forgot about for about a year, and now all of sudden he is important again.. more important than ever. I guess that is why they call things like blubear " transitional objects"
  • He has been wanting to stay at home a lot or telling us he wants to go home, which is really unusual for my outgoing, people loving and social boy! He has never really had separation anxiety or cried when I have left him places before and now he seems so timid. Hiding behind me.. clinging to me.. wanting me to hold him 24-7 , sit in my lap all.day.long. etc.
  • Has been getting into ALL SORTS of mischief.. and he is proud to show me or tell me about it. He can do insane things in 20 seconds... If you follow me on instagram then you get to see about 20% of his shenanigans. I am documenting them so that I can make a book to show him when he is older.. because let's face it, no matter how annoying it can be, it is pretty dang funny. .
  • He has started having HUGE, and LOUD tantrums.. or not so much tantrums as just crazy reactions to getting into trouble or going to time out. It is totally fake, but still really loud and stressful.
  • He got in trouble at school this week for pushing his classmates. UGH. This is a re-occuring problem because he gets impatient with other kids when they don't go down the slide etc fast enough so he can have his turn and he will start pushing them. He also wont participate in circle time. This makes me crazy. I loved his little out going and fun loving personality and for him to be so combative right now makes me sad. 
  • Oh! And on top all all these behavioral changes, he is trying to drop his nap. He rarely EVER naps anymore even though I let him have 2 hours in his bed for " quiet time" but then by 5 is SOOOO tired and if we don't get him asleep by 8 then he hits a whole new crack wave of energy and acts insane! ( moving all his blankets from bed into the hallway and hooting like an owl) 

So I am brushing up on love and logic again and trying to be really creative in dealing with all this. I have already been trying to downplay sister as much as possible and give him plenty of affection and attention but that was not effective as all of the above seems like desperate attempts for attention so now I am practicing some really intense one on one times when sister naps where i don't have my phone , TV etc going and its just he and I and I let him lead the play time.
I also have started taking toys that he throws or misbehaves with and putting them out of reach into toy jail and he can win them back by doing nice things/chores. 



So just wondering what all you guys out there who have " been there/done that" have to contribute to this? Discipline ideas or ways to help him adjust to his new life. I know all these changes are really big, and I am sad that he is having such a hard time.



And While we are at it: 

Sister is almost 3 months old! Does that mean she should be napping 3 times a day ( 9am, 12 & 3Pm) for about an hour each time or what? She sleeps from 6-6 or 7-7 each night ( little dream baby angel! ) What about feeding schedule? . It is kind of hilarious how much I can NOT remember of when Fenn was a babe.

4 comments:

Courtney said...

Poor Fenn! He will adjust. I do love your instagrams though!

I can barely remember 3 month H, but she has always been erratic on naps. Trade off for being such a good night sleeper I guess, and I will gladly take night over naps! She was still eating every 2 hrs though. I remember that bc the days she went three hrs I about lept for joy!!

Good luck! You are doing a great job!!

Linzy said...

I love the toy jail idea! Good thinking. All of it sounds pretty normal to me and I think you just need to focus on the "transitional" aspect of it and remember none of this is permanent. I always though terrible 3's were way worse than terrible 2's. Have you thought about doing a reward/sticker calendar for days he gets a good report at school or does something stellar at home? We have been doing this with Maia for a while and it is pretty effective. Once she earns 10 stickers (maybe do 5 since he is younger) then she gets a treat, like a toy at the store or an ice cream trip. Just a thought.. Hang in there. It gets better. You are doing a GREAT job!!!

jenn said...

Dude. The temper runs in the family. :)
Nicholas fought me almost EVERY day of 3 yrs in preschool. I finally figured out that he just hated naptime!
I'm sure it's hard on the little bug with all the transitions but it'll get better. 3 was a VERY hard year. I still make Nicholas sit on the stairs when he gets in trouble or loses his temper.
Love fa &keep up the good work!!!!
Jenn

MrsAlisonWD said...

Download the Moms on Call app - it has an amazing schedule.
Fenn sounds like Rowan's twin. No nap, hating bed time, even the hooting is something she does! I have done a lot of knocking on her door with mike in my lap when she's in her room and when she opens her door I hold Mikey there standing up like he did it. Ill say come show me how to play house, Big Sister! I was doing exactly what you're doing - downplaying the baby and really focusing on Row but I started wondering what kind of relationship that was cultivating between them. Now I'm all about having him there when we play and even asking her to get him his bumbo and a toy so he can play while she plays with mommy. That combined with being REALLY STRICT about school (she was being a total ass at school) has actually helped a lot. Every day we review what is listening and what do we say when Ms Gloria asks us to do something and show me how you are gentle with your friends. It's mentally exhausting! He will definitely get better...I think the 3 month mark is when Rowan went nuts bc she realized the baby was here to stay!

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