Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Toddler Discipline

I am happy to report that the discipline going on over here has made big strides. Every time PB acts out, I carry him over to a very lonely corner of the room and lay him on his back and walk away. I remain completely emotionless the entire time ( if I am talking to someone, I continue my conversation as though I am not carrying a 35lb monster across the room).  I do tell him why he is going there and that he can not get up until he cuts it out. 
It takes him about 20 seconds to re-join the group. He will even smile and act all sweet like nothing ever happened! 
 This weekend he tested me in public ( Lord HELP me) at a consignment sale.. early in the morning... on a day that I FORGOT to put on deodorant... so all that screaming in the floor in public had me sweating profusely. Most mommas understood. One said " Good for you! It took me till my 4th kid to get that comfortable " but there were those ever hopeful pregnant girls with all sorts of judgment in their heads, and that is OK because no doubt that will revisit that moment in about 1.5 years when their kid is live and in person. But after all that showing out I took him to TJMAXX just to make a point that he will not dictate our schedule by showing out. He was a complete doll in there. 
I had not ever realized how much I danced around like a circus monkey trying to avoid his meltdowns! It is the most freeing feeling to not try and avoid them, but rather anticipate and handle them with confidence.  I was always carrying food, drink, toys, iPad to distract him incase he had a meltdown while we were out, and now, I use none of those things and it feels freakin fabulous!
If he is being a good and sweet boy THEN I allow him to watch shows.


Now I wrote all of that a few weeks ago, and am revisiting this post to EDIT. I might have won the battle, but the war is STILL ON.
Peebs is in full blown terrible two's. I started reading John Rosemonds books lately to help and navigate this area. 
He has a FIERCE temper ( no idea where he got that from) and has taken to hitting, kicking, scratching, etc when he is angry ..oh and throwing! He will try to throw something important, like my computer, when he is mad at me.
He has also changed his mind about so many things like, being friendly in public, or taking baths.. he refuses to SIT in the bathtub now.
I am EXHAUSTED from trying to discipline and not backing down all day. His will is made of IRON.  He can be the sweetest  sweetie and the meanest devil all in a span of 30 seconds.


He has moved on from the tantrums, well not entirely, let's just say he spaces them out better. Now... I must get him to do what I say, and not go crazy every time we have to do something that isn't on his agenda , like cutting his fingernails.


Here is the book I am reading, and I highly recommend it. It is a Christian parenting book, from a guy who does not believe in parenting books. HA kinda ironic.
  It is available in hard back and kindle edition if you are interested!

6 comments:

Erica said...

Hang in there! Sounds like you've got a good strategy and attitude. It is so freeing once you figure it out, but equally frustrating when they regress for a day or two. In our experience, every couple of months Kirsten slips into a "testing" mood and has lots of timeouts. The bath thing made me laugh (sympathetically) because we've been known to have naked, wet timeouts at our house. Poor kiddos!

Perfectly Imperfect said...

:( we are also right smack dab in the throes of the Terrible Two's. Good luck Mama... It's rough!

Cheryl E. said...

Holy cow, this post scares me! Peebs and C are about the same age and so far we havent had too many meltdowns but I can tell they are on the rise. Good luck mama. Keep us posted :) I need some tips.

Jenny @ Practically Perfect... said...

Yikes - not looking forward to when Joe does that. I've heard of John Rosemond - my mom is a big fan :-) I'm reading "Bringing Up BeBe" right now, which isn't exactly a parenting book but does offer some insights on to why children, American children in particular, throw tantrums and possible solutions. I was worried that it would be the type of author who looked down her nose at American parents (she's an American living in Paris) but it's actually been really encouraging, so far, especially for me as an expat living overseas. Sorry for the little sidebar run-on there! I hope that you enjoy the Rosemond book and that you're able to keep doing what you're doing - sounds to me like you're making great choices in how you raise your child!

Mar said...

How did you keep him in the corner? C laughs at me when I put him there and just gets right up like he could care less that I just dragged him across the room! I don't really have a tantrum boy yet, but he does start acting out when he gets tired. I'm not a softie, I just don't have a clue what to do that will be effective! Thanks for sharing!

grizaham said...

Love how when he is mad he is SOOO mad.. You carry him to the corner. He cries for about 5 seconds and then gets up with the biggest smile ever..
Love that guy

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