Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My First Time Away from Baby Fenn...

So you all know that bubs took me to New Orleans for my birthday/Jazz Fest this past weekend right? Well I had to leave PB behind for the 1st time with all of these capable women:

and I know you all are dying to hear how he did without his boobies so read on .....

I had many mixed emotions for the month leading up to this event and here were the main points:
  1. It will be good for my fam and PB to bond without me around. That is important and they will all get lots of time with him this way and learn his ways.
  2. What if we get all the way to New Orleans and I feel to sad or bad about myself for leaving him behind.. 
  3. He wont take a bottle. I have tried and TRIED to teach him in the weeks leading up to this event. I knew if all else fails he could be fed rice cereal with lots of breast milk, but ... I was worried about his attachment to the boobies for comfort. I don't usually boob him to sleep anymore and we had established somewhat of a routine, so I thought that part would work itself out.
  4. I was worried about him waking up at night and exhausting my mom and nonie (grandma) because he still wont sleep through the night, but I thought maybe they would CIO since I am not tough enough for that.
  5. I was worried and wondered exactly what the little dude would think, if he would realize how long I was gone, or if he would be scared to be in a different place etc I didn't want him to feel abandoned. But he loves all people and is very friendly and not clingy to me so I thought that might be OK..
Well pretty much everything I thought was incorrect! Here is how it went down in real life:

1. I def. think they bonded and enjoyed each other, but i think it was very stressful for all parties involved and not as relaxing and loving as I envisioned.
2. I actually did not worry about him or feel bad about leaving him, in fact we were having a great time and really enjoyed that couple time we had up until I found out PB wasn't doing so well without momma, then I was in acute panic mode until we were reunited.
3.Everyone assumes I make this no bottle thing up, and they can fix it. Erik especially. He thinks this is crazy. He made us stop at Buy Buy Baby and buy about 80 different types of bottles and nipples determined to find one he will take. So far we are 3:0. He refuses! He also refused for mom and nonie, in fact it ANGERS him that you would even offer him some artificial bottle. Momma had to spoon feed him breastmilk.
4. Pretty sure he did exhaust them, because turns out he BARELY SLEPT the whole 3 days/2nights I was gone. He napped for 20 minutes at a time ( twice a day, as opposed to 4 hours of napping at home) and basically slept off and on in their arms at night. All that routine I had established was a bunch of malarky when I was not there. So they were all exhausted when I got back. Turns out they don't enjoy CIO either.
5. I think PB def knew I was gone and missed me and his boobies. Mom said he would look around at his surroundings very confused like so I think he was just confused by the whole thing. so sad.

So it was a disaster and we are not able to take some other trips we had planned. I really thought it was gonna be OK. I have learned some lessons. Feel free to learn then with me:
  • I should NEVER have allowed him to forget how to use the bottle. He took one like a champ for months and then a few weeks went by where he didn't get a bottle and he completely BROKE UP with the "bah". I MUST figure out a way to get him back on a bottle or sippy. Advice welcomed.
  • I should have eased into it. Like tried one night at a time first, and I should have stayed there a day or 2 before leaving him so he would have time to get used to all his new people. 
  • Maybe I need to start letting him get used to being without me and staying with different people. Gonna think this over.

He did have some good times in Monroeville though! My bro was precious with him all weekend. Here is a hilarious video of my brother eating dinner with Peebs. It's funny because my brother eats like a garbage disposal, my brother still goes to my moms for a meal EVERY day, and PB is about to battle him for some macaroni! ha

and he got lots of time with his precious cousin Wilburs. ( my bro's son who is 3yo). Normally Wilburs does not care for baby fenn AT ALL, or me for that matter, but this visit he liked us both! He played with him, and all his toys

he told me "Lawa I wanna hold him" and I said OK and so I placed Baby Fenn in his lap and he immediately said "HE'S HEAVY" ha!  PB didn't enjoy all the squeezing.
We also took a few pics in the yard and this was pretty entertaining. PB though the grass was a gold mine of snacks. I had to constantly take things out of his hands while in route to his mouth, which Will immediately mimicked. A funny thing he also did was he wanted to eat puffs again and he also wanted my mom to put some water in one of Fenn's bottles so he could drink out of it!

and just because my dad's pics ever hardly make it to the blog, Here is big Mike now and momma and Erik hugging right before we loaded up to leave again :(
WHEW !! That was a long blog post! Sorry peeps! Please share with me some stories to help me figure out what to do with my boy! Also thanks to my momma, Nonie, and CC for keeping Baby Fenn and taking such great care of him!! xoxo


grizaham said...

Oh the relationship of a mommie and her cub... I have never seen anything like it!

Peebs will be alright.. Or he better cause sissy is babysitting overnight for Eddie in St. Louis!

Ware Eagle.


Melissa Tabor said...

I was just about to leave a comment just like the first part of Erik's, so I will have to say ditto! I never realized how much thought goes into things like that (trips, bottles, etc) until I read your posts. It's incredible how much you think about that stuff. It's really sweet.

I'm sure Fenn missed the mess out of you & E, but it's nice that you guys had some fun time alone, too!! :)

Kelli said...

I have been wanting to hear how PB did away from you guys so I'm glad he had some adventures but so sorry for all of the other sad stuff about being away! I think about that all the time when I hear other mamas had a night away from their babies - but I haven't had one yet and Lucy refuses a bottle herself, although she does drink water from a sippy cup everyday and she's 11 months so I'm not wanting to do a bottle at this point anyway. So I'm eager to hear if you have success going forward with all things transition from boobie to bottle or cup. I should not have let Lucy get out of the bottle habit either!

Mere said...

All I can say is that I have never seen anyone eat that fast :) Hilarious

Phala said...

Laura, I feel for you! I haven't read all your posts but I'm assuming Fenn won't take a sippy cup either? With my first two babies, I made sure they had a bottle on a pretty regular basis (at least one per day) all along, but by my third I got lazy! I let Anders go for a good 2 months or so without a bottle and then (surprise, surprise) he wouldn't take one! I did get him on a sippy cup by 9 months and introduced cow's milk by around 11 months. That took him a while to get used to, but by the time I weaned him at a year, he loved it. Now he just gets a sippy cup of milk at bedtime. I didn't nurse my first two this long (they kind of just weaned themselves) so they went from nursing and bottle to just bottle, then we had to wean off the bottle to the cup. I will say that with Anders I'm glad we skipped a step! Good luck with everything! :)

Amber said...

Oh LG I'm so sorry your first weekend away didn't go so well! Poor you and poor Peebs!

What about at your house - have you thought about having your mom or someone stay there with him without you just to see if being in a familiar environment would help at least some parts of the situation?

I still haven't left Abby overnight yet and I have no plans to at the moment. But whenever the time does come I just know I'm going to dread it because she already prefers me at night when she wakes up. We've experimented a few times with letting Clay go in at night when she wakes up to see if he can get her to go back to sleep without eating and she SCREAMS bloody murder until I come in to "save" her even though she completely ADORES him any other time of the day! :)

Julie Bray said...

Don't be too hard on yourself! Month 9 & 10 & 11 (I think) is full of both attachment issues as well as separation anxiety. Just a learning process for Fenn. He now knows you will return. And he is fine with others...... hard to get used to, but can survive.

The bottle was one thing I was repeatedly warned about from the lactation nurses when Ben went from NICU bottles to both nursing and bottle. They kept telling me over and over and annoyingly not to ever switch to just boobie..... guess they knew what they were talking about. But the only pumping is soooo time consuming!

Fenn was in great hands! If you want to take a night out on your way to vacation thru Bham, we will be more than happy to keep Fenn for a night or even a few hours.

I really have no place giving any advice, but from my little bit of experience, we find it best to sneak out of the room before we leave Ben. No long good byes, do those earlier, then just leave when he is distracted with something else. If Ben sees me, he gets upset if I'm not right there with him but if I sneak out, he's fine.

Marion said...

Its all trial and error and i think this age comes with a lot of mommy attachment. I'm the furthest thing from an expert but can share what we went through...C is nearly weaned since I'm back at work and I basically force nurse him at night (which is for me more than him, but I hope he doesn't mind!), but he would not take a bottle from me! He was only 4 months when he had to hit up thebottles and We had to push this issue and wait out the tantrums that came with the bottle. When he got hungry enough he caved.

Unfortunately this takes some patience close to the CIO kind bc it is hard to accept that your baby is hungry when you can easily give him what he wants. Luckily we didn't "fight" over it for more than 20-30 minutes.

Is he drinking from a sippy? If so, you may be able to go straight to that and skip the bottle completely. I like the dr browns sippy bc it really doesnt leak.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

I agree with the other comments, have you tried the sippy? It's an option..

You're braver than me... I still haven't left E over night. So uh, I have no advice!

Mrs. Holder said...

Sleepover at Holder Haven! We can have some vino and ease Fenners into being away from home! As for the bottles...ask Huss, he's the man with the plan!

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