Sunday, April 19, 2009

My First Encounter with Domestic Violence..

Last night, we had dinner with everyone and decided to return to our hotel for bed since we had early flights. Emily was in the bed for about 10 seconds before she fell asleep and I was watching The Tudors on my laptop.
At some point in the night , the neighbors got home from the bar and were louder than my show and I got up after about 30 minutes to go ask them to shut up. I opened the door expecting them to be in the hall cause it was so loud but they were in their room and when I opened the door, I could hear a very nasty fight and some mild slapping around. In my daze the guy leaves the room while I am standing there and opinionated as I am I let him know that the whole floor was now awake and unappreciative not to mention how disgusting he is for what he had said and hitting his wife. He left me with a few nice sentiments to ponder. Emily is awake at this point and wants to know what its going on and I told her I would fill her in tomorrow since I think it is over now..
Little did I know that he was gonna come back and in maybe 5 minutes the whole thing was in full force screaming , sounded like throwing some things around. You could hear him slapping her ( along with every intimate detail of all their dirty laundry) Emily is hearing all this and getting pretty upset so we call the front desk to report.
Front desk lady comes up, forces her way in the room ( they would not answer the door) and the girl assures her everything is fine and it's all her fault ( total victim mentality that one)so she leaves, but calls us and says the chick was pretty beat up and she thinks she should call police. Before she had even made it to the front desk to make that call, He had started choking her and she was desperately gasping for air. Which is a pretty awful thing to listen to.
Front Desk Lady had to call 911 and in what seemed like forever 3 cops came and then the next 2 hours ( all after midnight) were spent with all of the hashing it out and her crying and screaming
I say all of this to say, it was a long night and pretty heart breaking. That guy is in the military which is why they didn't actually take him to jail. He already had a record of beating her and this incident would mean he probably got kicked out. She was 25 and has 3 children with him and had the lowest, most pitiful self esteem I have ever had the misery of enduring. Neither Emily or I could understand how he beat her up so badly and didn't go to jail, that was pretty frustrating for us. Their solution was to separate them into different rooms.
Needless to say we got zero sleep last night and came home very thankful for our husbands, and I have been a little sad today just because I am so disappointed in humanity. After seeing that up close and personal, it made it much easier to understand the Chris Brown/RiRi saga.. and how the girl just assumes responsibility and defends them no matter what.


Courtney said...

What an awful night! That's such a sad story know that people can do that to someone else. Terrible!

ml said...

Whoa. I feel bad for her. Hays and I talked about it this morning, and he felt pretty bad about it too. That poor girl.

auhays said...

That is just sad. Could the police have done anything isf the wife didn't want them to? Bad experience, but will definitely make you thankful

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What I Know said... that Vera has totally been inappropriate for the subject matter on this one (comment from anonymous)...That really sucks that you had to witness that, and that the woman continues to go through that. Victim mentality is right!! They shouldn't kick him out of the military...they should send that Dbag in as a minesweeper.

grizaham said...

Domestic Violence is tough one.. Most people who are the victims dont want or always refuse help thinking they have to endure it for the kids.. Its pathetic on both sides.. Sucks real bad and so do the police.
Taxes really suck too.. And the government.. And wasps.. Kayne & Jay Z.

Jilly said...

Wow. Reading this absolutely breaks my heart. People need to learn how to channel their energy some other way other than making their spouses feel like they're nothing.

KelliSue Kolz said...

I think laws regarding domestic violence should be written so that the victim is not in the position of choosing to prosecute or not. When they're murdered, they'll certainly not get a vote on the prosecution. Should we wait until then?

Less discretion, more prosecution.

Children deserve fathers who treat their mothers with respect and tenderness.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I am glad you guys are safe. People can turn on a dime.

Paul B

Cindy said...

I just found your post from another Blogher site........

I am so glad you didn't get hurt when you confronted him!!

I don't know what area you were in, but in this area (Michigan) when the cops are called on a domestic, someone has to go to jail and the judge will sort it out....... with obvious marks on her, he would have definitely went to jail here, especially with all the witnesses and been charged with attempted murder......

It's so sad......I just had to comment, it's so frustrating that people get away with things like this........ this will be a case of the cops being involved to solve a murder, not preventing it.

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