Tuesday, April 29, 2008

And Because yesterday I said we were Dull....

Ralphie decided to go and create some drama. Its my Birthday right? My "Golden Year" and Ralphie decided to bring in the bang. Earlier today, we ( the grizas) were all outside and Erikface says to me " you know what, we should all lay in the sun for a bit b/c a suntan is good for FAT" (yes, i know he said that, he is known for his honest statements)
Anyway, I said totally. B.R. always says "Tan fat is better than white fat" (gah I miss Bobby Ray) ! So all 4 of us are on the deck sitting and sunning. I look over at E and say " look at Ralphie. (our prince first born) his perfect posture and that odd way that he is sitting. Isn't it weird/funny? Why is he sitting in the doorway?!" E says " Snubs you know how he is!"
Well 30 mins later my prince first born jumps into my lap and he is sticking to my pants. I pick up his foot to see why and he is COVERED in sap. Turns out that door frame and odd position had him sitting perfectly in the PINE door frame which oozes sap in the heat. His entire under carriage was covered in sap... privates and all.
Complete disaster I tell you. This was at like 4pm and we were supposed to have dinner at 6 and I had not showered yet. I spent the following 2 hours first trying to cut the sap out of what little furs he had grown back from his UGLY haircut he had recently. Most of the sap was stuck to his skin, which was impossible to remove. After that 45 mins we were both covered in sap.
I then tried to get the "goof off" which is basically paint thinner and put that on there to remove the tar but the smell is SO LOUD and I couldn't get him to understand the concept of "breathe through your mouth" so that was a disaster as well and we both had a headache from the smell and were covered in sap. Right about then is when I started to cry. Its supposed to be my birthday and I am about maxed out with the stress of him covered in sap (painfully) the dread of turning 29, the gut hanging over my oh so cute "skinny jeans" . I cant imagine having a human child who is in pain and not being able to help them.
Anyway below you can see pics of his sap.. its in the most sensitive areas you can imagine. His tail is basically glued down to his Hiney.

Paw covered. Check
Privates. check.
Embarrassed patient who doesn't understand the need for the camera. Check.
( I tried to tell him that in order to Justify this drama on my BIRTHDAY, "GOLDEN YEAR" it would have to be blogged. He didn't think that was funny at all)

7 comments:

Candice Marie said...

OMG! Lilly does shit like that all the time!

Marty said...

I hate it when i get sap on my balls.. seriously tho, next time don't make your dinner reservations so dang early!!

Lindsey said...

Poor doggie and poor you! Especially on your bday. It's a good funny story that you'll be laughing about years to come:)

ml said...

Poor Ralphie. That has to suck. I am sending you an email with a similar story. It's a forward, but read it, its really funny!

Anonymous said...

Having experienced this stickiness while Ralphie became my bff last night...I had to share this with co-workers. They said try skin-so-soft bath oil...Amy

Caroline's Mom said...

Don't talk about your gut hanging over your cute jeans until after you have a kid. Just wait...

This story is hilarious. I hope Ralphie is ok! Happy birthday!

auhays said...

:(

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